Parenting is hard!

"Working out what our children need in order to thrive is definitely not simply a matter of knowing the right information about child development and having an armoury of clever techniques (the controlled cry, the ‘naughty step’, the gold-star reward charts, the ‘one-two-three magic’, ad infinitum). A deep and joy-filled connection with our children – the kind of connection that allows us to be a positive influence in their lives – rests on our ability to relate to their innermost feelings, to see more deeply than their surface behaviour. This kind of connection is far more powerful, influential and enriching than authoritarian behaviour-control."  Source

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Last Friday after trying so hard to help my 3 year old clean her room without success and than having an all out tantrum and screaming fest for at least an hour from her...

I had my own little breakdown. 

After I got my wits about me I prayed! Because I know that we have a loving Father in Heaven who hears our prayers. Do you know that?  I hope you do. 

Yesterday I told my all knowing =) older sister of four adorable boys that I felt like Lizzy was out of control lately.  This has been so hard for me because I know without a doubt that a lot of her acting out is my lack of parenting (or just about everything) since becoming pregnant. I have been less patient, less kind, easily annoyed and given a lot less time to her since getting pregnant.  My sister told me that she wished she could give me some really good advice but she really didn't have any.  She was a listening ear though and then later on in the conversation when I told her I felt like I needed to give her more structured activities. She told me she had recently read an article (I just updated this link because it was wrong) about moms who feel they need to do so much structured things and who overwhelm themselves with what they are not doing are actually more depressed moms and that ends up rubbing off on the children.  She then reminded me that what lizzy needs most is just simple time from me doing what lizzy loves. 

She was 100% right and had ended up giving me the advice I needed!
Today I spent some time cleaning but then sat down with her and read her a ton of books.  Then I sat down with her at the table and colored.  Those are her two favorite things right now.  It was so simple and yet I know it meant the world to her and she has been happier today...I can tell! 

My hypnobirthing instructor also sent out a bunch of articles today and one in particular I really liked because I feel like it pertains to my struggles with my daughter right now.  Its titled Intuitive Parenting and you can find it here.  Its a good one.  Go read it.  (The quote at the top of the page comes from it)

What about you?  Did you feel like your children suffered during your pregnancies?  How did you keep your head above water?  What simple things do you enjoy doing with your children that they love?  How do you remind yourself that its all okay?

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